a self-diagnosis of love…

the winter months are approaching; as it gets darker out earlier, i do my best to prepare myself mentally.  it could be anything from taking extra vitamin d, to intentionally eating healthier.  one thing that makes me warm-hearted is spending time with my dear cat friend, lumbia.  when i curl up to rest she’s right there to curl up as well.  she’s an older cat (10, soon to be 11) and though she’s still quite active she loves to live a basic life- eating/drinking, resting and going to the ‘bathroom’.  it’s a lot like when we humans get older.

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lumbia and i met when she was 2 years old; she came into my life after i ended a very toxic relationship.  the more we spent time together over the years i recognized that she is extremely sensitive to the energy around her.  she’s really friendly to most humans; however there have been a couple of people she avoided.  she is very talkative with specific tones when she is in need of something.  she’s also sensitive or allergic to certain things (like fleas), and will throw up when she has an allergic reaction.

she is extremely sensitive to the energy i carry.  whenever i’ve been depressed she takes that on.  it actually makes me sadder, because i didn’t want to make her sad.  whenever i am happy she’s receptive to that as well.  whenever i leave she gives this look of ‘you’re leaving AGAIN??!!’ and goes back in a little ball to rest; when i come home she gives me a very vocal greeting, and walks up to me.

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a lot of humans just look at cats or dogs (or birds, snakes, mice, etc.) as a ‘pet’ and may not necessarily consider their emotions to match our own, especially if they have been around for a long time.  and of course, they choose us.  if we treat them with love and respect, they will be dedicated to us.

it’s a lot like us humans.

as a human i am constantly learning about myself and the world around me daily.  the older i get, the more i find myself sensitive to energy in general.  there have been these feelings though, these sensations i’ve had ever since i was a child; and i had no idea how to articulate these feelings.  i though i had always been alone in these feelings, and it was not until recently where i learned it had a name.

ASMR.

autonomous sensory meridian response.  anyone who experiences ASMR would know exactly what i mean when i speak about it- it’s that pleasurable tingling in the head (and sometimes shoulders/ arms/ears, fingers/etc.), when you see someone in the midst of a task, or speaking, or writing.  there’s not a lot of research on it (as it’s a more recent phenomenon (in terms of its name)), but people have been experiencing this for years.  it’s nice to know i’m not alone in this feeling- there are others i personally know who experience this as well.  it’s also interesting to know that not everyone experiences this.

i wonder if it’s a defence mechanism which developed for people who were under stress as children- such as abusive households- and these specific things which trigger the ASMR are reminders of a ‘safe space’.  is it directly related to the chakras?  is it related at all to a mild OCD?  do people who have this have a high sensitivity to the energy around them? is it genetic?

i found out today that my sister also experiences this; however i know that not all siblings share this same quality.

in many ways it feels like this special club; these codes which have yet to be discovered are known only by those who experience them.  percentages are not known, and there continues to be surveys and films around the subject, to know more about why and how people feel what they do.

http://www.asmr-research.org/

it’s also one of the first ever ‘diagnosable’ episodes not shrouded in negativity; since it is related to the pleasure center being triggered, there is a curiosity without ridicule or malice about it.

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watching people create things gives me the sensation; it is not necessarily something i can conjure up myself by will or force.  for instance, the earrings you see in the above photos…  as much as i focus on (and love) making jewelry, cooking, writing, etc., it has to be others doing it in order for me to be triggered.  this is definitely a journey i enjoy being a part of.  and yes, i do wonder if cats experience something similar.

as lumbia curls up and rests, i wonder what dreams she has, as her ears twitch; are they good or bad?  does she know she is loved, and does she love others, in the way cats somehow do, in their own language?  rest away little one, for it’s always a new day for you to explore.

just like for us humans.

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